I was a nerd in High School. I attended a math-and-science boarding school in SC, and was surrounded (finally!) by a bunch of other nerds (the story of how I ended up a historian is long and boring, so I’ll skip it).
Now, an author claiming to be a nerd is almost expected, what with geek-chic being a legit style choice these days. But I think I can back up my assertion with some examples.
For instance, we had a student-led pep-band for our basketball games, and one of our favorite chants went:
Sine, Cosine, Tangent, Sine,
I had a suitemate who took the SATs nine times because she kept getting a 1590 out of 1600, and that was unacceptable. We had a cheerleading squad—also student-run—that we called the Proactive Synergy Coordinating Squad (PASCs), because we were far too full of ourselves to be mere “cheerleaders.” We souped-up our TI-81 calculators. We started our own cheese appreciation club for crying out loud.
So you’ll have to grant that we were nerdier than most.
Imagine a bunch of seventeen-year-old nerds, living among like-minded individuals for the first time in their lives. Romantic relationships were suddenly a glorious possibility, and we reveled in the chance to (*looks around furtively, giggles, pushes glasses further up her nose*) date. Most of these dating arrangements were made awkwardly (of course) and with great ceremony (of course), which resulted in some of the nerdiest pick-up lines ever.
I present to you the pick-up lines a bunch of teenaged math-and-science nerds come up with when they live together in a closed environment:
Chemistry: “Are you an exothermic reaction, honey? Because you’re making me hot.”
Calculus: “I think you must be the square root of two, ‘cause I’m getting irrational around you.”
CompSci: “You’ve turned my software into hardware.”
Biology: “Skin might be your largest sensory organ, but I’ve got something even bigger.”
Physics: “It’s not the length of the vector, it’s how you apply the force.”
But the winner, the true winner of the “worst pick-up line ever” contest, goes to the Math version:
“Hey baby, wanna come back to my place and study some mathematics? We’ll add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs, and I’ll multiply.”
I can’t even write that with a straight face. I mean, honestly. It’s horrible.
And no, it didn’t work. None of them worked. We talked a big game, but we were still nerds, and too busy laughing at ourselves.
Brothers of Baird’s Cove: Renegade by Caroline Lee
Smuggling gave him the revenge he needed….
To no one’s surprise, McKee Baird never fought in the War Between the States. His fiercely independent nature made it impossible for him to take orders, and his close friendship with a black man stopped him from fighting for his father’s South. But he’s found his own way to rebel against the new government the United States has imposed on him… and right now, the only thing standing in the way of his smuggling business is the intriguingly uninhibited Becks Middleton.
Their chance meeting gave her the excitement she’d been craving…
Becks has a life of freedom away from Charleston society’s rules. So of course she can’t help but be drawn to the stimulating renegade her mother invites to visit Beckett Plantation, even if she doesn’t approve of his profession. When the opportunity to seduce Mac arises, Becks takes that chance, planning on one night of passion before the dangerous smuggler leaves. But when she accidentally becomes part of his schemes, she can’t reveal the truth without risking his freedom. Joining him on his ship, Becks will face not just her growing love for Mac but a confrontation with authorities that will threaten their very lives.
Can the two of them reconcile their differences before their future is stolen away?
Caroline grew up in the Lowcountry of South Carolina, and her love of the land is completely reflected in her upcoming book, The Brothers of Baird’s Cove: Renegade. Set on a SC sea island at the end of Reconstruction, Renegade addresses the tough issues many Southern historical romances skim over, like the true meanings of freedom and race, and exactly how many crabs it takes to make a batch of she-crab soup. There are zero pick-up lines in the book, nerdy or otherwise, because Mac doesn’t so much “pick-up” Becks as he does “catch her.” Repeatedly (she’s a bit clumsy). But that doesn’t stop them from enjoying everything the Lowcountry can offer them, and then some…
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