Somewhere to review books I'm reading without giving away any spoilers!
I’ve had a lot of funny things happen to me during my writing career. I’ve taught a porn star over the phone how to use Facebook. During a reading at an Irish bar, I was reading an erotic section when a bar patron walked in, heard a sentence, and then he turned on his heel and ran out the door. I’ve had interesting discussions about the details of a sex scene, “OK, if her hands are tied to the bedframe . . .” We demonstrated that scene at a writing retreat. There are pictures. We had to use someone’s leggings because nobody brought any rope. (Poor planning.)
At the RWA conference in Manhattan, my friend and I were walking back to the Marriot after having been drinking. We met another group of friends coming the opposite way. My friend wanted to join them, but I had to go back to the hotel to do some writing. So knowing my bad direction sense, they told me to look up. “See the big M?” I nodded. “That’s the hotel.” It was all of three blocks straight ahead. “I got this,” I said and off we went in opposite directions. Yeah, I got distracted by Times Square and overshot the hotel. Luckily, I retraced my steps. But my friends know not to leave me on my own anymore.
But the all time funniest story that happened to me and has grown in the telling happened at the RWA literacy signing. I think it was also the one in New York. I had just waited in lines to meet and take a picture with Nora Roberts, Kristan Higgins, Mingmei Yip, and Jude Deveraux. I was trying to find Cherry Adair’s line so I could get in it and have her autograph a book for me too. I was up front in the “A” section and couldn’t find her, but I saw this gigantic long line that snaked all around the front of the ballroom. I asked a woman from Georgia who this line was for and she said, “T’Pei.”
“T’Pei?” I had never heard of her, but she must be really popular. I saw my friends further up the line and I decided to ask them who T’Pei was. What genre did she write in?
They looked at me blankly and asked me just what the heck I was talking about. So I explained. Then they laughed at me. Like bent over and couldn’t breathe laughing. And one of my friends said, “To. Pay. You. Dummy. This is the line to pay for the books.”
So for the rest of the conference whenever I would walk up to them, they would say, “You just missed the great author, T’Pei. She’s elusive. I almost got an autograph from her, but then her handlers whisked her away.”
And when we walked by the ladies room, one of my friends said, “That’s T’Pei’s cousin’s line. Her name is T’Pee.”